Why I stopped trying to hide my back in the middle of July

Watching the summer heat ruin my favorite shirts

It started early this year, back in May when the humidity in Gyeonggi-do decided to jump about twenty percent overnight. I’ve always had this persistent issue with back acne, but usually, I can ignore it by just wearing thick cotton t-shirts. This year, though, I bought a couple of those thin, backless tops because everyone said they were perfect for the heat. The moment I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a fitting room mirror—not even a very good one, just a standard store mirror—I realized the dark, brownish splotches covering my upper back were not going away on their own. It looked less like a temporary breakout and more like a permanent roadmap of every bad decision I’ve made regarding my skin for the last three years.

Walking into a dermatology clinic near Bundang

I eventually made an appointment at a dermatology clinic in Bundang, mostly because I was tired of staring at the mess in the mirror. I didn’t want to buy another bottle of fancy body wash that promised to clear everything up in a week. I’ve gone through enough AHA and BHA scrubs to know that they barely touch the surface once the scarring has actually set in. When the doctor looked at my back, he didn’t really say much other than that the skin on the body is thicker and slower to heal than the face. He suggested something called an Aladdin peel. It sounded like something out of a fantasy novel, but he explained it was a deep exfoliation method specifically for the back. The price tag for a package was somewhere in the range of 300,000 to 500,000 won depending on how many sessions I opted for. I left feeling a mix of relief and mild annoyance at how expensive it was going to be just to wear a tank top without feeling self-conscious.

The reality of recovery after the treatment

The treatment itself was intense. I don’t think any of the beauty blogs mention how raw your back feels for a few days afterward. It was like having a bad sunburn that didn’t go away. I had to sleep on my stomach for almost a week, which is not my preferred position. I spent a lot of time just standing in my bathroom, carefully patting my back dry with a clean towel instead of rubbing it, because the doctor was very specific about avoiding friction. It’s funny how a simple habit like toweling off becomes a massive, conscious effort when you’re paying a professional to fix what you caused by just being lazy about rinsing off your shower gel. I remember thinking while standing there at 11 PM that this was a lot of effort for something that no one else was even looking at.

Trying to stay consistent without losing my mind

Honestly, even after the peels, the uncertainty lingers. The dermatologist talked about hydration and avoiding certain types of clothes, but how realistic is that when you’re commuting in the middle of a Korean summer? You’re sweating the second you step out of the station. I’ve started using a urea-based cream that he recommended, which is supposed to help with the texture, but it feels heavy and leaves a sticky residue that I hate. There’s no perfect fix, and I’m still not sure if the cost was really worth the slight fading I’ve seen so far.

A nagging thought about why this keeps happening

Sometimes I wonder if the clinic visits are just a temporary patch for something that’s going to keep coming back. Is it my diet? The detergent I use? The fact that I don’t wash my hair away from my back? The sheer amount of advice out there is overwhelming, and half of it seems to contradict the other half. One person says to scrub it, another says not to touch it at all. I’ve spent enough money now that I feel obligated to keep going, even if I’m tired of the whole routine. I’m just waiting for the day I can put on a shirt without checking my back in three different mirrors first.